Healing in Europe
by Blood Dahlia
Summary: After coming out to his team, Reid feels more humiliated and embarrassed than ever. So he goes over to Italy to tutor the police there and to visit his best friend. But when a murderer shows up, will Reid be able to push through his depression and help?
1. Chapter 1

__Hello, dearest readers *waves* It's almost midnight aaand I'm bored :3 so here's my newest brain-baby.

Just a heads up: There will be some-better make that lots of-depressed Reid in this D: it's just too fun to torture him...I'm so sorry dude...*pats imaginary Reid on head* But he'll get better in the end. Promise ^^

Read on~

* * *

><p><em>Make it stop, no no<em>...

Spencer Reid had dealt with many difficult things in his twenty-three years of life. He had coped with his mother's severe schizophrenia and the fear that he might show symptoms of it, too. He dealt with going to college and high school at an extremely young age, and the harassment of his peers. He's been face-to-face with serial killers, rapists, pyromaniacs, torturers, terrorists-you name it.

But this? Even he couldn't take it.

Reid had thought that Garcia was someone he could trust. Someone who could keep a secret when they were begged to. Apparently, though, Reid had forgotten that the tech goddess had a history of being a gossiper.

"You're seriously _gay_?" Emily said loudly, not caring if practically the whole office was staring.

She, along with the rest of the team, had had a little too much to drink, thanks to the bottles of wine someone had brought in. Hey, it was the end of a Monday and only a few stragglers (minus Hotch's team) remained in the office-they were allowed to let loose a little.

_Does she have to be so loud?_ Spencer whimpered in his head.

Garcia, who was standing nearby, giggled innocently and blew him a kiss. "Sorry, baby cakes," she said without a hint of remorse. "It sorta slipped out."

'Sorta slipped out,' Reid realized, actually meant 'I happily told the second biggest gossiper in the building that you're gay. This'll be fun!'

Hotch stood outside of his office with his arms crossed, watching this exchange with his usual stoic expression. Reid felt a glimmer of hope-would his boss see how uncomfortable he was with Emily interrogating him about his sexuality?

That hope was quickly squashed when Hotch's face split into a grin. He went over to Rossi and thrust out his hand. "Told you he's gay," he chuckled. "And I believe you now owe me a total of thirty bucks."

Rossi glared at him before huffing angrily and pulling out the money from his wallet. Hotch snickered gleefully the whole time, before leisurely taking the money and practically waltzing back to his office.

"Whoa, wait," Morgan said, just joining the conversation. "Reid's _queer_?"

That single word was like a knife straight through Reid's heart. He swallowed thickly, trying to hold down the sob that was working its way up his throat. _He didn't mean it to sound harsh,_ he tried to convince himself. _Morgan's just insensitive. He meant it teasingly. He had to have been teasing..._

"Um, c-can we please not talk about this?" Reid whispered. He brushed his long hair repeatedly back behind his ear, a nervous habit he thought he had long broken. "I-I'm n-n-not comfor-"

"Geez, Reid, you just got the short end of life, didn't you?" JJ interrupted with a laugh. It was obvious no one had been listening to him speak. "Not only are you freakishly smart and socially awkward-not to mention not-so-attractive-but you're _gay_?"

Reid felt ready to just bury himself in a hole as his colleagues-the people he called friends and almost considered family-laughed and made jokes at his expense. _Why are they being so mean_? he wailed in his head as he typed on his computer with shaking hands. _What'd I do to make them hate me so much_?

The whole team had been oddly harsh with Reid lately. They had stopped praising him when he figured out where the latest unsub was, or when he decoded an extremely difficult riddle that the unsub left. And they were snapping at every single little thing that he did. Morgan, JJ and Emily-even _Rossi_-hadn't even bothered to try and hide that.

"Aw, we're just screwin' with you, pretty boy," Morgan laughed, jolting Reid out of his thoughts. He clapped Reid on the shoulder roughly, making a light bruise form. "You know we gotta."

"You'd better stop calling him pretty boy," Emily teased, "He might start crushing on you!"

Reid touched his shoulder tenderly, forcing the tears back and smiling shakily. The smile crumpled when they stopped looking at his face. He stood up and gathered his things together.

"Where ya goin'?" Morgan pouted when he saw Reid stand up. "We weren't done!"

Reid blanched at the words. "I'm, uh, n-n-ot feeling g-good," he stuttered out lamely. "S-So I-I'm g-g-goin-ing hom-e e-ear-ly."

Reid was shocked at the stutter—that only came out with strangers or people who harrassed him. Never before had it come out towards the team. Not even when he had first met them.

No one stopped him as he ran out of the building.

The drive back to Reid's loft passed in a blur. He could barely see the road through his tears and his hands were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Cars honked as they passed, annoyed by his reckless driving skills, but he could honestly care less about them.

Reid didn't remember parking his car. All he remembered was exiting the underground parking lot and stepping into his apartment building.

No one was in the stairway as he took the stairs two at a time to his apartment. Trembling fingers had to try six times to get the key into the lock before they were rewarded with the door opening. Reid quickly ran inside and slammed the door shut, not caring if he startled the neighbors.

All of the lights were off, and he didn't bother turning them on. He simply threw his bag into the corner and went straight to his room. Ignoring everything else, he crawled onto the bed and curled around one of the brown throw pillows on it. Finally, he allowed himself to sob. _Oh God, I hate my life so much..._

His house phone started ringing. Reid didn't even look at the ID, fearing that it was one of his teammates. The call went to voicemail.

"Spencer?" a feminine voice said, high-pitched and friendly. "It's me, Sally. I was just calling to say hi, and to see how you were doing-" The voice machine cut her off before Sally could finish.

Barely a few seconds later, she called again. And again. And again. Sniffing and wiping his nose, Reid reached for the phone. _Why is she calling so many times? Long distance phone calls are expensive..._

"What do you want, Sally?" Reid asked, hoping his voice was calm. "I'm, uh, at work." _Shit, this is my home phone. Way to be a genius._

"Spencer, what's wrong?" she asked immediately. Of course she knew he was lying. They'd been friends since he was 12.

"Nothing's wrong," he tried.

"Dude. You just forgot that you're using your home phone AND I can hear you sniffling and trying not to sob." Damn her and her perceptiveness, Reid cursed in his mind.

"I don't want to talk about it," Reid whimpered, curling around a pillow and feeling like a teenage girl. And fuck it—he could act like a goddamn teenage girl all he wanted to at the moment.

"Spencerrrr..."

As soon as Reid heard that tone, he was spilling his heart out Sally. The girl listened silently, occasionally making small grunts of acknowledgement. When he was done, Reid simply sobbed. Sally finally spoke after he had quieted his sobs so she could be heard.

"How long has this been going on?" Sally asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

"T-the homophobia?" Reid sniffed, wiping his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"No, just the uncaring in general," she clarified.

"Three days away from two months," he whispered after thinking for a moment. "But-but it wasn't really big at first or noticeable—" He had no clue why he felt the urge to defend his teammates. He guessed it was only natural since they'd been his partners for years.

There was a pregnant pause, which Reid broke. "Did you hang up?" he asked right as Sally started to speak again.

"You're coming out and visiting," Sally said shortly. He tried to protest but she plowed on. "I don't give a fuck what you say. I know you have weeks of vacation time saved up. I'll pay for the ticket and everything. You need to be with a friend, Spencer. A real friend."

"I-I can't," he tried to argue. "I'll be so far behind in work, and what if a serious case comes up? People could die—"

"You can still technically work, I guess," Sally said, and Reid could practically hear her shrug. "That's what Skype was invented for. And emails. If worse came to worse, you could spend money on a long distance call, but that's besides the point."

"I really don't think I should," Reid fretted. "It might just make my relations with my team worse."

"Can't be worse that it already is, can it?"

He didn't respond.

"Okay, I just sent you an email," Sally said. "Go over to your laptop…" Reid almost rolled his eyes as he went over to the laptop and turned it on. "Open Firefox…"

"You don't have to walk me through this step-by-step, Sal," he laughed shakily.

"Eh, it amuses me," she said, and he could hear the shrug again.

"I'm opening it now—" Reid nearly dropped the cellphone in shock as he looked at the flight information. "How'd you get that so fast?" he screamed in shock.

"The power of the internet."

Reid stayed silent for a few moments. "You're not going to give up, are you?" he whimpered.

"Not at all," Sally said cheerily. "Your flights for this Friday. I figured that'll give you enough time to get get all of your good-byes said and the paperwork done. And I swear, if you try to back out of this I will fly out there and drag your skinny white ass back to Italy. Don't think I wont."

He let out a shaky laugh. "Fine."

"Hey."

"What?" Reid asked in exasperation.

"I love you, Spencey."

He sighed heavily, but the corners of his mouth reluctantly turned upwards. "I love you, too, Sally. See you soon."

They hung up, and Reid started to get ready for his trip.

* * *

><p>Halfway across the world, Sally sniffed, tears pouring down her face as she finished tailoring her newest outfit on an extremely handsome male model.<p>

"Sally!" said model gasped when he saw her crying, arms wrapping around her. "Whats wrong, sweetie?"

"My best friend came out and all of his teammates harassed him," she wailed, jamming a needle viciously into the desk. Everyone in the vicinity winced and went hurriedly back to work. "I swear, if I ever get my hands on them I'll castrate them all!"

"Trust me, girly," a Swedish model tisked, pursing his lips. "I would too."

"He deserves better," she groaned, toying with the ends of her ponytail. "Spencey's dealt with so much, y'know? I just wish I could just...just..." She screeched in annoyance and threw herself into a chair.

"Aw, I feel so sorry for him," another model said, pouting her full lips.

"Yeah," Sally sighed. "That's why he's coming to stay with me for like three weeks. Or until I say he can leave." She smirked slightly at the last sentence, obviously plotting something that the genius would disapprove of.

"Girl, you better be nice to him!" one of the models from before said, smacking the plotting designer lightly on the arm. He had seen that look many times before on Sally's face. "You just said it yourself he's been through hell, give 'em a break for once."

Sally frowned at him. "I can't believe you'd even suggest that I'd hurt Spencer!" she said, crossing her arms and pouting. "He's like my little brother."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, ya've had good intentions before and they ended bad. Remember the delivery boy and the stripper?"

Sally grimaced as she took the pins out of a dress. "Okay, how was I supposed to know that he had a phobia of being touched? It was perfectly logical to think that a healthy young man would like a hot stripper!"

The model turned away, preparing to go out onto the stage. "Whatever. Just try and be on good behavior, yeah?"

"Stop telling me what to do!" Sally seethed back, the needles in her mouth falling to the floor.

* * *

><p>I purposefully overdid a lot of his teammates' reactions :x it just keeps the story moving hahaha<p>

Review and favorite this, if you deem it worthy~

And now I feel my sleeping pill kicking in. Hopefully now I can sleep -_-


	2. Chapter 2

Hullo everyone!

I wrote this at like three in the morning lol so I'm very sorry if there are some spelling or grammatical errors ^-^"

* * *

><p><strong>SannaStardust<strong>: Haha of course they're going to be the stereotypical gay models xD I couldn't help it~ And thank you for reviewing!

**Neko-Akira-chan: **Glad you liked it :)

**lederra: **Thanks! :D

**antigone21**: Thank you for reviewing~ ^-^

And then another thank you for everyone who favorited this story! *glomp*

* * *

><p>Reid pursed his lips as he reread the email on his phone as he sat on the bus. He had already gone through most of the stress response stages, and now had exhaustion sitting heavily on his shoulders. His whole night had consisted of packing and calling Sally repeatedly to vent out his feelings about the whole situation.<p>

No doubt making his phone bill _sky-rocket_, Reid thought dully as he left the bus. He vowed to make Sally pay every dime of it.

Reid nervously entered the office, looking around to make sure he was alone. He had gotten at the office half an hour earlier, as usual, and was dressed in his every day 'old man's' clothes.

But today was anything than normal.

He held his breath and walked purposefully into his boss's office and laid down the information for his requested vacation. Reid had already sent it off to the higher ups-he hated to admit it, but Reid trusted them for a yes more than his own boss. He knew the procedure, though, and had to keep Hotch informed about when he would be in and out of the office.

Part of the weight on his lungs was lifted after the papers were placed neatly in the center of Hotch's desk. Allowing himself a small smile, Reid went back to his desk and started on his daily work.

Hotch and Rossi were the next ones in, and neither tried to speak with him, oddly making Reid happy. He sure as hell wasn't one to make conversation, and he was 97% sure any conversations he had with his team would have something to do about his sexual orientation.

Reid jumped in surprise when files were slapped onto his desk. He looked up to see Morgan grinning widely.

"Hey, fairy," he said, reaching out to ruffle Reid's hair.

The genius ducked out of the hand's way and shakily went back to filling out the reports. Morgan, completely disinterested, shrugged, drinking the last of his coffee and leaving the files on Reid's desk.

Reid stopped writing as soon as Morgan had left. He stared at the files contemplatively, his jaw clenching and unclenching. He started to reach out for the first one, but then stopped. Berating himself mentally, Reid took the files and secretly slid them back into Morgan's pile. Feeling guilty, he buried his head in the folder already laid out in front of him.

An hour later-a _whole hour_ of snide jokes and jabs, meant to be 'playful,' of the girls trying to get fashion advice, no one even _attempting _to stop the curious or scornful looks-Reid was ready to have a panic attack.

His hands were shaking so bad that he couldn't even write anymore, and his stomach rolled like an ocean during a hurricane. He had to focus all of his energy on it to simply keep his measly breakfast down, beads of sweat starting to collect on the back of his shirt.

Reid's computer dinged, making him let out an undignified yip and him almost losing his coffee to the floor. Setting the mug down before he dropped it, Reid hurriedly opened his email with his ears and face on fire.

Reid sped-read his way through it, each formal word making happiness build inside of him. He had to read it through three times before he convinced himself his coffee hadn't been drugged with hallucinogenics. _Yes!_ Strauss had approved of his time off!

"Why're you smiling so much?" Emilia chuckled, a half-smile on her face as she looked at the genius's beaming face. He was too immersed in his own world to pay much attention to his teammate, though.

Two days. Today and tomorrow. He only had two days to get everything organized and done before he was on a plane to Italy. _Italy_! Reid couldn't help but grin wider. He hadn't been to Italy since he was four, at his mother's family reunion! Oh, it was going to be great: he could brush up on his Italian, visit his grandmother...

_Find a cute boyfriend_, a singsong voice that sounded very Sally-esque added innocently.

Reid nearly choked on his coffee, making a few concerned passer-bys turn their heads. Embarrassed to no end, Reid waved off their concerned questions forcefully shoving away his thoughts. He had a feeling that the Sally in his head would no doubt make him act even more foolish if he did.

An hour before work was over, Reid was starting to get worried. He kept on glancing over at Hotch's closed door, expecting to be called into it at any time. When was he going to get the sheets back? It was driving him up the wall, not knowing if his boss would approve of disapprove.

The genius finally mustered enough courage to go right up and ask the boss. He walked with quick and awkward steps, trying to go fast so he wouldn't chicken out at the last second. He knocked twice on the door before entering the office at Hotch's permission.

"S-Sir?" Reid stuttered out, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, Reid?" Hotch asked, looking up from his work. He closed the file and set it aside, interlacing his fingers in front of him. "What can I do for you?"

"I-I just wanted to know if you had a-approved my request for v-vacation," Reid stuttered out, too nervous to sit in the seat Hotch offered to him.

Hotch's eyes were blank for a moment, and Reid could practically see the gears in his head turning, trying to remember what he was talking about. _Did he even _look _at the papers_? Reid scanned the desk, not seeing them there._ Maybe they fell off_-

"Oh."

Hotch guiltily reached down and pulled the papers out of the trashcan.

"I, uh, thought they were a joke," Hotch admitted sheepishly as he straightened the papers into a neat pile.

Pain stabbed at Reid's heart, but he made sure it wasn't written on his face.

"It wasn't," Reid mumbled, fiddling with the end of his shirt.

Hotch cleared his throat. "Are you sure you want to leave on such short notice?" he asked Reid. "That's really soon."

"You always tell us to do that," Reid said, refusing to look at his boss. "So there's less of a chance of us being stuck with another case."

Hotch nodded his head in agreement. "I'm just...surprised that you're taking a vacation. You never have before." Reid shrugged. "Do you want me to assign you a case there? We actually just got one for Italy, and I think you'd be a great asset to their police."

"I-I don't think I would be the best choice for that, sir," Reid said, imagining how furious Sally would be if he had to work.

"Why not?" Hotch said, raising an eyebrow slightly as he rummaged through his desk for the file. "You're fluent in Italian, aren't you?"

"Uh, yes, but-" Reid started to say.

"Ah!" Hotch exclaimed, skimming through Reid's papers. "You'll even be staying in Rome, where the murders are happening. Now you _can't _say no." The look of pain and agitation that passed over Reid's face went unnoticed by his superior.

"Yes, sir," Reid sighed heavily, taking file from Hotch. He tucked it under his arm and left the office.

Hotch allowed himself a rare smile, satisfied with himself as he got to work. He knew how Reid got when he didn't have any work to do-he would get antsy and irritable with everyone. He wouldn't be able to get out of that irritation for a week, even if he was given work. Now, Reid wouldn't have to go through that, and could probably enjoy his trip more after he was done with the case.

"What'd you talk to the boss man about?" JJ asked when Reid sat down, not-so-secretly slipping a whole day's worth of work into his stack.

"Could you not do that right now?" Reid mumbled, taking the stacks and handing them back to her. "I don't have time."

JJ shared a shocked look with Emily. "Whatcha got goin' on?" she asked curiously.

Reid shrugged demurely. "I have to do a consultation." _When I'm on vacation_.

"Ew," JJ wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I hate consultations." Reid most certainly knew that, since she always dumped hers on him.

"It's where I'm staying with a friend, so it won't be that bad," he said quietly, speeding through the file. He closely examined the bodies, all of which had various symbols carved into their skin.

"Is it a boyfriend?" Emily asked, grinning mischievously at him.

"It's a girl," Reid responded, already prepared for her or JJ to ask something along those lines.

"That's no fun," JJ pouted, crossing her arms. "Do you know how many stories you coulda told us if it had been a boy?" Emily pretended to swoon at the thought, fanning herself with a few case files.

Reid shifted uncomfortably, completely unamused by what they were insinuating. He knew better than to call them out on it, and just continued taking notes.

"Where is it at, anyway?" Morgan asked, reaching out and grabbing the top paper from the pile. Reid gulped and started to slip lower into his seat when he saw Morgan's eyes widen comically.

"_Italy_?"

Emily and JJ gasped in horror, leaning back and glaring at the paper.

"No wa-a-ay!" JJ said in shock.

"That's so not fair!" Emily whined. "I wanna go back to Italy, but I don't have enough vacation days saved up! You're so lucky, it'll be considered working so you won't have to worry about that!"

Reid mumbled about how he would mostly be working so he wouldn't have time to actually do much relaxing, but the three of them were too busy going on about how lucky he was and what he could do.

"You have _got _to hook up with a hot Italian dude one night," JJ ordered, pulling Reid out of his state of unawareness. "Or more. As long as it's at least one, then it's all good."

Reid blinked a few times before he finally got it. "I'm sorry?" he choked out.

"C'mon, Spence," JJ said, "You're a hot, single twenty-seven-year-old. It should be easy."

Reid's eyebrows pinched together and he yet again tuned out their words. He really didn't want to hear about their dating advice for him. And even if he did listen to them, it wasn't like anyone would give him a passing glance-he was just a nerdy genius who wore old man's clothes.

"...cer? Are you even listening to us?"

"Uh, yeah," Reid lied, sneaking a glance at the clock and seeing that the day was done. "Hey, um, I have to go," he said gathering his things and stuffing them clumsily into his bookbag. "I only have, ah, two days to pack my things before I have to, um, leave."

"You need any help with packing?" JJ chirped. "I'll gladly give your nasty, old man wardrobe a makeover."

"It's okay," Reid mumbled, standing up. "Uh, s-see you guys tomorrow." They were all too immersed in a discussion on whether there should be a weight limit on skinny-jean wearers to say good-bye to him, but that didn't bother him.

He stood at the bus stop, fighting back the cold as best as he could. He had already missed the bus by the time he arrived, so he would have to wait ten minutes before the next one came.

When he got home, Reid went through his normal routine: work, eat, shower, work some more and then read before going to sleep. He found it odd that nothing was different about the day, even though it was his last day. Reid was ignored, as per usual now, and no one even wished him good travels or told him bye.

The day kept on getting worse: he had to get a full-on pat down, and had to wait in one of the longest lines ever to get checked in, resulting in him almost being late for his flight. He luckily made it in time, and didn't have any more incidents.

Reid sighed and started rereading his book as the plane took off.

He just hoped that the rest of his trip wasn't as bad as it started off to be.

* * *

><p>Like before, please review and tell me what you think of this :)<p> 


End file.
